Netflix and chill?

   It's very hard to find a girl who actually likes you for who you are. Most women want to know if you have a good job and lots of money. Or if not it's ok if you're 6'4" and have a 6 pack. But they won't marry you. Unless you also have that and also the money too.

   Women deny it all the time, but it's true. They won't bother getting to know a guy unless he has x, y, or z. And I don't want a woman who likes me for those reasons. What if I lose everything, will you no longer love me? What if there was a nuclear war and we were all left to scavenge and farm. That big job at the law firm wouldn't mean anything. 

What would matter is having someone who you could truly love and trust. 

We are a peasant society with the expectations of royalty.

We have no loyalties. 

We don't bond anymore. Except through LCD screens and through 140 characters or less. 

We care about status. The working class kings and queens. Whatever happened to romance and falling? Did these things ever exist? Or were they always just a childhood fantasy. The idea that someone can love you for who you are on the inside. And not for what designer labels you wear, what foreign country they'll take you to, or the depth of their bank accounts. We treat relationships like venture capitalists looking for solid investments for the future. What's the potential payout? Where is this person going to be 10 years from now?

How about investing with your heart? How about looking past the labels, into someone's soul? What's the potential payout if you love someone truly and deeply for the person they are, despite the crumbling mountains of debt around you. The American dollar won't last forever. Would you be a senator of fallen Rome? Would you be a slave trader after emancipation? What do you have left after all material is lost? Look inside yourself, despite that exterior beauty. Is the reflection looking back at you anything but ugly?

Check my status

The Internet is a boneyard filled with the remains of what used to be humanity. If you listen close you can hear their souls whispering tweets and posting status updates.

Dry

Passion is a well well fracked

Keep pumping

But the earth is dry

There's not enough for tears

Not enough for life

The clay is baked

The shape is set

Your attempts form cracks

But the expression remains

Look into my eyes

Pottery glazed

Underneath I pray for rain

Intoxicated Facebook Rant

I don't really understand people. The harder I try to understand, the less I feel that I do. What fuels the narcissism so prevalent in the world I see around me? Is it cultural or societal? The more I learn about different people from all over the world, the less I feel you can make that argument. It seems to be part of our nature. I am no saint. I am not perfect. But I self reflect often. I give without expectation. I'm self sacrificing. I sometimes come across as devoid of emotion or as some sort of asshole, but I genuinely care. Do I do these things for acceptance? Do I do them so people will love me? I'm not really sure. I find myself retreating into a more selfish version of myself. Not because my heart has changed, but because I have become bitter and resentful. Why are people's expectations of others so high? I'm not speaking about expecting someone to be enjoyable to be around or to be a good person. I'm talking about the superficial expectations that people have, even when they themselves have little to offer. What can you do for me? Will I look better if I'm associated with you? What can you give me? What is your net worth? I don't want to be associated with anyone who has these questions. I used to believe that most people were like me. That most people were kind individuals who genuinely care about who a person is and the conduct of their character. Everyone seems so concerned about What you are. And not Who you are. How does this person make me feel? Could I have conversation without effort? I used to think that women felt amorous and romantic the same way that I sometimes do. But it seems that altruism, romance, and passion doesn't exist in most women. At least not in 2015. And not in the way I always thought growing up. We grew up watching Disney, movies, and tv shows where people fell in love with who the other was. No matter how poor or rich. We watched countless stories of love developing across classes. Jack and Rose. Aladdin and Jasmine. We saw dramatic romances blossom on television like Cory and Topanga. And in my idealistic mind, I once thought that the romanticised version of romance was real. That people could love each other, friend or lover, for deeper reasons. I thought that most women wanted something like that. Many like the entertainment value of a Nicholas Sparks novel, but few actually want to live it. And it's not just romantic relationships or women. Men are equally as callous and cold. Equally as superficial. Though the objects of desire tend to be different between the sexes. Many men are just guilty of assuming that women are somehow better than us, more caring, or more loving. I'm tired of being a person who falls on my sword or looks beyond the epidermis. I just wish someone could look at me with the same x-ray vision. I wish people would stimulate my mind more. I wish people would talk more. Conviene and bond with one another. Start a conversation with a stranger. Stop judging folks on what the car they drive, the money in their bank account, and the house they have. They are indicators of many things about what a person is. They don't tell you who that person is. Enjoy someone. Enjoy their presence. Embrace them.